A satirical farce in the spirit of the comic Captain Underpants
Grandpappy grabbed Skeptico and told him to drive him to Atherton since it was Friday afternoon and there was sure to be a dinner party where the mutant lizard billionaires would be attending in human form. If he could get them all to regress to their lizard form while live streaming to FailBoatX.social it might wake up humanity to the true threat of mutant Lizard billionaires. “Bring the Bongo Drums”, he told Skeptico, “I have a feeling a Bongo Drum Solo from a 1970s type KungFu movie fight scene could trigger a semi-permanent regression to their lizard form. A bit similar to how a gig worker has a semi-permanent job”. They ran with a Bongo and hopped in their car speeding away to the richest zip code in America.
At the same time Baba Muskiratatouille and little Sami were on their way to the exact same Atherton dinner party in a FakeSelfDrivingCar driven-ish by Baba. It crashed right into the front door of the 1,500 sq. ft. 100M dollar house, busting it wide open for a grand entrance. Some ObeyRabbit employees quickly swapped out the front door since this happened every time a FakeSelfDrivingCar visited the house. Baba and Sami hurried to make their entrance to the outdoor patio seating area.
The patio was full of schmoozing VCs talking about disrupting, innovating, and generally making the world an oppressive place for non-billionaires. Having just arrived Grandpappy and Skeptico popped out of the bushes and Grandpappy played a hypnotic Bongo drum solo while Skeptico live streamed. Instantly the billionaires regressed in mutant Lizard form, and a storm cloud formed above then a burst of rain soaked the outdoor patio area with enough water to create an instant mud pit.
Out of the corner of his eye, Skeptico saw Rambo Rogaine mutate to a tiny one foot Iguana (he suspected he was not rich enough yet to afford a multi-million dollar car with rare earth metals). The Iguana kept murmuring, “Fake Moon, Fake Moon, Fake Moon Landing…” and it was accidentally thrown into the bushes by a random mutant lizard tail swipe.
As the Bongo drum solo intensified, Lizardberg and Baba Muskiratatouille suddenly started hissing and spitting green mutant Komodo dragon slime at each other and fighting in the mud pit. All of this instantly went viral on FailBoatX.social breaking the site instantly, but enough was seen that humanity was aware that tech billionaires are actually mutant lizards.
Lizardberg and Baba continued to fight and slap tails at each other until suddenly the Iguana regressed Rambo Rogaine ran into the middle of them and exploded emitting a toxic “hot air” that immobilized both mutant lizards long enough for a special government taskforce to arrive and sequester the entire scene with yellow tape. Grandpappy’s plan had succeeded.
Meanwhile, little Sami ran out of the party crying. His entire world of data theft and oppression of art was over before it started. He hopped in a FakeSelfDrivingCar on his way to a playground nearby hoping he could steal some candy from a baby there and at least end the day on a good note.
The End