A satirical farce in the spirit of the comic Captain Underpants
Once upon a time a small boy wished he too could steal books, art, source code, movies, corporate documents, and unpublished inventions. He dreamed of enslaving the population further to the corporate interests of billionaires. Could he too contribute to the vast surveillance that made the population obedient, simple and confused? Yes, he could…
The reason he believed he could was because it is what his recently deceased father did for a living. His father recently died in a tragic accident while stealing corporate data when he broke into a factory trying to steal the schematics for undiscovered inventions. A fire broke out and burned him so badly his wounds were of a mortal nature. When the son visited his father in the hospital his dying words to his son were, “Scrape OBEY, remember, scrape to OBEY, scrape to OBEY”.
His father was an agent of the Ministry for State Stealing commonly abbreviated as “Stealsi”. The goals were simple: billionaire totalitarianism. “Everything in the Billionaire, nothing outside the Billionaire, nothing against the Billionaire.” They conducted activities like espionage through smartphones, wide scale data theft, as well as “Meme Hustling”.
Meme hustling was one of the most effective forms of propaganda of the regime. It was a form of technical utopianism that hid the true totalitarian aims of the billionaire overlords. A good example of a recent meme hustle was “AGI” or Artificial General Intelligence. By convincing the population that the capabilities of Generative AI were more than simply “copy pasta tools”, they created the excuse for data theft. This is a common meme hustle, claiming to be doing work for the good of the kingdom, while allowing for further control and reduction in free will.
The sworn enemies of the Stealsi were the “Meme Thrashers”. Instead of participating in 24⁄7 smartphone addiction where the population could be stupefied, controlled and survelled, they read books. These folks would never be invited to a billionaire’s Hawaii colony treehouse to play touch football or hunt wild boar.